G’s Place

This post is from a psychology professor who is making his students blog (cool). The prof also focuses on Asperger’s Syndrome.

So he makes is abnormal psych (WHY IS IT CALLED THAT!!) read John Elder Robison’s book, and also blog about it. Well, John has been responding to some of the blog posts. How cool - you are in college, evaluating a book, and the author responds to what you think of his work.

In a bigger sense, you have an aspie responding to what future psychologists (who will no doubt work with other “aspergians”) think about his idea of how the world is. THAT is way cool.

I should be working on my needs analysis paper (it’s for AANE…) but I just don’t wanna……bleh!!!

So, bri calls me about an email she got from a professor. The prof has dropped her grade a letter and is threatening to drop her from the class because he says she has missed class “no less than four times”.

Bri says she has never missed class - she was late once and apologized ( to which the prof said it was ok).  She has turned in all her work. She disclosed to him one day, based on things he said they were going to be expected to do.

Ok, her disclosing in itself is a HUGE deal. Two years ago, she would have talked to me for an hour and a half before she let me know why she was upset, and then would have firmly resisted just explaining to the prof about her concerns. Nowadays, she just goes up and says, listen I have Asperger’s Syndrome, the best way I can explain it is it’s a mild form of autism, and because of that it is going to be hard for me to _______________ (<–fill in some sort of social interaction here).  I am SO happy she is able to advocate for herself a bit.

I’m hoping it’s a misunderstanding. I’m hoping the professor (ok, he is a visiting author) is just confused. Or, maybe bri is supposed to be doing something and she has missed it. Still confusion.

I got her to email the prof back, saying basically wtf ??? Until she hears back, I am going to be riled up. I am trying to learn that she has to do it….I just don’t understand why she doesn’t get mad about it. She has internalized it - so that is where I am focusing my energy that is coming from my anger.

She is like, well I don’t talk alot…everyone else knows each other in the class, and  are very social. Maybe that makes me invisible. Is that why I am always invisible to people.

To which I say oh HELL no….you are paying to be in this class, he has no right to just ignore you!! It’s his job to draw you out, and help you develop your craft. (I have said on here how bri’s Aspie “THING” is stories haven’t I???) God how do I keep her from thinking this is something she did “wrong” or “bad”? And who the hell is this man to make my daughter feel that way?

So, the way I see it, my lesson is to hold back, support her, let her handle it. SO SO HARD!! Her lesson is to not let people push her aside and demean her because she is quiet, shy and different. Jeez I wish she would raise a little hell!!

I go back and read some of Bev’s posts  @ Asperger’s Square 8, and it upsets me so much to realize how much bridge-building work needs to be done.  I read about how web 2.0 instruction is bringing together Aspies (John Elder Robison to be specific) and Psychology students…that is fantastic. I think challenging how future educators and psychologists are being taught is the only way to start building those bridges.

Bri, if you read this…there ain’t nothing wrong with you. It’s the prof. You have to stick up for yourself a bit though!!  I love you, I know some of that gene is inside you, let it out!!!

We saw the documentary Billy the Kid last night.  The director (Jennifer Venditti) and John Elder Robison (author of Look Me in the Eye…go get it and read it). We were late because we got lost…so I missed the first ten minutes or so.

It was good….although at some parts it was so hard to watch. I just covered my eyes with my coat. Mostly because I see Brianna do the same things that this kid was doing.

The director said they shot the footage in 8 days. That explained some of the things in the movie. There are times when Billy really seems to be playing to the camera. It’s the same feeling I get now when I watch my daughter in new social situations…I can tell she is “acting”, or  “playing to a script” to get through the social stuff. I wish I could pour some of me or her brother into her, so she wasn’t so uncomfortable and she could just relax and put herself out there (because she really is amazing). That’s what I mean by playing to the camera - the director said Billy is into films (it sounded to me like it’s one of his THINGS), so I think he had an idea of how he was supposed to be acting.

But his aspiness still came through. One thing he did that I recognized is repeated things to make sense of them (oh, you’re Heather’s dad…). Brianna doesn’t do that so much anymore…but she used to drive me a little nutty with it. She wouldn’t just repeat stuff, she would repeat it in the form of a question. Or questions. I don’t know why she doesn’t do that so much anymore. I’ll have to ask her.

One way he is different than my daughter is he is very outgoing. Brianna is very very shy. I think it has saved her one sort of troubles. He would start talking and just tell the person all those things you aren’t supposed to say to a person you just met. That is when I would cover my eyes.

During the Q&A, one dad in the audience asked how much was edited out because they didn’t show any rants. I took “rant” to mean what I call “getting stuck” - going on and on and on and on about a topic. It was funny, you could tell who in the audience knew an aspie by who laughed.

This poor kid had a wonderful mom, but not so great dad (drugs are bad mmkay). Again, I have to think I was blessed with the parents I have to be able to be the right kind of parent to Bri. Thanks mom and dad.

I asked John Elder Robison if he had met Billy, and if Billy knew about his connection to KISS. Billy LOVES KISS. He had a homemade Guitar Hero set up….he had a guitar and an amp set up in front of his TV playing a KISS video. And then he mimicked what they did. (I thought that was so cool). John invented all the exploding guitars, etc for KISS. Although Billy and John haven’t met, John said he thought any true KISS fan would know who invented the guitars. LOL. Supposedly KISS is thinking about showing up at the premier in L.A. THEY SHOULD….and they should send Billy out there for it. Can you imagine? That would be so awesome.

If you don’t know and love someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, you should see this movie. It will show you that those “weird” people hanging around are just different. Cut them some freaking slack. If you know someone with Asperger’s, the movie is really wonderfully done - the sounds and sights were edited to try and simulate what the world “feels” like to an aspie. I think they did a good job with that. I also think it’s good she shot it in 8 days - she didn’t have time to get to be exhausted by his strangeness (At least we can tell Bri now that we need a break from it, and she understands. And we understand when she needs a break from us).

The movie strengthened  my resolve to change how people on the spectrum are treated and seen by others.  Eventually, I’ll get there…I’d love to go home and just help people understand their kids may not be bratty, just autistic.

The movie will be on  HBO soon, then on DVD.  It’s in some theaters now. I recommend it.

The 5th Annual Flutie Bowl for Autism is next Monday at the Lucky Strike Lanes inBoston. It’s a fundraiser for autism, so the tickets are $150.

I won’t be going - I don’t really have $150 to donate, plus I’ll be traveling next week.  John Elder Robison says he’s going.

Billy the Kid is a documentary about a kid from Maine who has Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m not sure if I will be able to watch the movie…I have just only now started really seeing that Bri honestly doesn’t understand how to do the social thing (just as she is finding ways to mask those gaps). I can only imagine how much watching an entire movie will make me squirm.

I finished John Elder Robison’s book (and added his blog to my links). It was very good. I was so happy for all the things he was able to do. Ok, happy is the wrong word. I was geeking out at stuff he has done. I saw alot of people I love in his words. I have more questions now though. His daddy and his mom were sorta nuts. His dad sounds an awful lot like my ex. He’s from the part of the South I am from (for heaven’s sake, his mama has a story on her website about Wakulla!)

He was verbal, and credits the fact that adults were quasi-fascinated with him when he was younger as one of the reasons he didn’t turn completely inward. I wonder if that is what happened to Bri? Lord knows she was fascinating.

His brother wrote Running with Scissors, I guess I need to add it to my reading list.