So, bri calls me about an email she got from a professor. The prof has dropped her grade a letter and is threatening to drop her from the class because he says she has missed class “no less than four times”.
Bri says she has never missed class - she was late once and apologized ( to which the prof said it was ok). She has turned in all her work. She disclosed to him one day, based on things he said they were going to be expected to do.
Ok, her disclosing in itself is a HUGE deal. Two years ago, she would have talked to me for an hour and a half before she let me know why she was upset, and then would have firmly resisted just explaining to the prof about her concerns. Nowadays, she just goes up and says, listen I have Asperger’s Syndrome, the best way I can explain it is it’s a mild form of autism, and because of that it is going to be hard for me to _______________ (<–fill in some sort of social interaction here). I am SO happy she is able to advocate for herself a bit.
I’m hoping it’s a misunderstanding. I’m hoping the professor (ok, he is a visiting author) is just confused. Or, maybe bri is supposed to be doing something and she has missed it. Still confusion.
I got her to email the prof back, saying basically wtf ??? Until she hears back, I am going to be riled up. I am trying to learn that she has to do it….I just don’t understand why she doesn’t get mad about it. She has internalized it - so that is where I am focusing my energy that is coming from my anger.
She is like, well I don’t talk alot…everyone else knows each other in the class, and are very social. Maybe that makes me invisible. Is that why I am always invisible to people.
To which I say oh HELL no….you are paying to be in this class, he has no right to just ignore you!! It’s his job to draw you out, and help you develop your craft. (I have said on here how bri’s Aspie “THING” is stories haven’t I???) God how do I keep her from thinking this is something she did “wrong” or “bad”? And who the hell is this man to make my daughter feel that way?
So, the way I see it, my lesson is to hold back, support her, let her handle it. SO SO HARD!! Her lesson is to not let people push her aside and demean her because she is quiet, shy and different. Jeez I wish she would raise a little hell!!
I go back and read some of Bev’s posts @ Asperger’s Square 8, and it upsets me so much to realize how much bridge-building work needs to be done. I read about how web 2.0 instruction is bringing together Aspies (John Elder Robison to be specific) and Psychology students…that is fantastic. I think challenging how future educators and psychologists are being taught is the only way to start building those bridges.
Bri, if you read this…there ain’t nothing wrong with you. It’s the prof. You have to stick up for yourself a bit though!! I love you, I know some of that gene is inside you, let it out!!!
